This really comes as a follow-on from my last post and our results day has prompted this entry. Everyone is the 'new one' at some stage in their life, some more often than others, which is a good thing. I think by putting yourself into a new situation, whether it be a job, a new social circle, or otherwise, it shows that you're adaptable, postive and powerful. How you deal with being new greatly impacts your frame of mind.
Being with the cohort which are to begin the course made me think about when I started the course. My personal regard for beginning this degree was simply as a means to an end, but I soon realised that rather negates the whole process of what you learn while at college. Some of what is taught is tough, some of it just common sense, and if you have any interest at all in children and families and what is faced by them on a social, personal and welfare basis, the course will be terrifically interesting and worthy of your blood, sweat and tears. The teaching by the tutors will vary considerably, and as one tutor often called the process - it's a game, and to win the game you need to know the rules. You learn the rules by asking questions, both of your tutors and of others on your course. Rules can also be learned by just being flexible: to be able to alter your own style to suit that of the person marking the piece of work. Find out what the rules are with regard to referencing (this should get easier the more experienced you become). You'll also need to look closely at the question being asked. 'Crtically analyse' and 'discuss' will take on deeper meanings as you get your teeth into the course, but don't get too uptight about it just yet as the tutors will go over and over this with you. You also learn the rules by listening. I come across people who just don't listen, both in my professional line and personal, and it's most frustrating! If you're being told something: LISTEN to the reply. Keep your mind and your thoughts open to new information and don't allow your own judgement, attitudes or opinions to cloud that information. This was one of my biggest hurdles in the early days, but having said that, I found the tutors more than welcoming of some on-the-spot questioning and for this I thank them as it developed my own 'critical thinking', therefore developing my 'crtical analysis'.
Holding your long-term dreams close to your heart can have impact positive and negative as you proceed through the degree. You'll certainly waiver in the early days and question whether you'd still like to teach, become a social worker or early years professional, but ride the waves in those early days and it'll pay off. This is where positive thinking plays a role. In my cohort we've had to deal with all manner of life-crushing elements and we're still going strong (battered and war-torn, but stronger than ever). I have had my confidence tested as a result of my grades. A third for an essay in my first year really took its toll, but what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, and regard every grade as a learning opportunity. Read your feedback and next time you'll perhaps be able to hand in something which will provide you with more satisfaction.
As I move to Warwick in October, I won't be at Nuneaton any longer and that's something which I shall deal with, but at the same time I shall miss it. It's 'safe' at Nuneaton college and the tutors are always available. This will be a major change at Warwick by all accounts, but one which doesn't really bother me as I know I can call upon Nuneaton's tutors, namely Lin, should I feel I need support. A wealth of knowledge and support, she is quite formidable and her help knows no bounds.
Lastly, I'd like to say good luck to all starting their degree, continuing their degree, and those who are moving with me to Warwick. Postive thinking is a wonderful thing and one which has seen me through to this stage. Without it, I wouldn't be right here right now.
Friday, 9 July 2010
Friday, 2 July 2010
Transitions
Time brings change. Time is change. Change is good. Or is it? There are many changes occuring in my life right now which have collectively prompted this blog entry. Today we accepted an offer on our house, the house where my babies saw their first years (I was pregnant with our son when we moved in). My studies move from little ole Nuneaton College over to Warwick University in the Autumn. I also had a phone call regarding my job, possibly leading to big changes in my employment. My daughter is moving on to high school this September, leaving behind for good her primary school, which is also the location of my other job. She won't be there any more and I'm unsure how I'm going to cope with that on an emotional level. I also had a bit of a clearout of other aspects which kept providing me with an annoyance which I knew I could well do without.
Change comes in two forms - pro-active change or reactive change. I'm a great fan of the former, but am more likely to perform the latter. Being pushed into making a decision to make a change is not something to be recommended, but is possibly the way many of us regularly make decisions.
Anyway, to relate this entry loosely to our lectures, I was thinking about Lin's lectures on transitional dips. By my estmation, I only need to get divorced, have a close family member die, and it's a full house for life's most stressful situations. I'm wondering how my transitional dips are going to make themselves known. Will I go into complete meltdown? Nah, that's not really me. Will I live through them without any change in my emotional state? Probably not, I am human after all. So, how will I cope? Perhaps I shall turn to my security blanket, start sucking my thumb and asking for my mummy? Stay with me - I promise I won't do that........just threw that curveball in there as everyone who knows me knows I do not suck my thumb. I suck my hair.
I try to make pro-active decisions and I think that for the greater good, they're more satisfying, but as I said before, we rarely make decisions in that manner and most tend to be made after the horse has bolted, when it's either too late to have major impact or just plain and simply too late. I think transition can be affected by our decisions. Unlike a child, who has all major decisions made for them, such as starting at pre-school or having to spend every other day with grandma because mum's gone to work, us adults are in charge of our destiny, our decisions can be empowering and cathartic in equal measures. I made one decision today which provided me with such a release that it physically made me smile. I can't decide whether it was pro-acvtive or reactive (most probably reactive) and will not affect my daily life in any way, shape or form, but had been something I'd considered doing for a while. Decision made and acted upon, release. What I guess I'm trying to say is that even if you won't benefit on a personal, professional, financial or familial level, don't shy away from making decisions which perhaps you'd put off making or acting upon.
Change comes in two forms - pro-active change or reactive change. I'm a great fan of the former, but am more likely to perform the latter. Being pushed into making a decision to make a change is not something to be recommended, but is possibly the way many of us regularly make decisions.
Anyway, to relate this entry loosely to our lectures, I was thinking about Lin's lectures on transitional dips. By my estmation, I only need to get divorced, have a close family member die, and it's a full house for life's most stressful situations. I'm wondering how my transitional dips are going to make themselves known. Will I go into complete meltdown? Nah, that's not really me. Will I live through them without any change in my emotional state? Probably not, I am human after all. So, how will I cope? Perhaps I shall turn to my security blanket, start sucking my thumb and asking for my mummy? Stay with me - I promise I won't do that........just threw that curveball in there as everyone who knows me knows I do not suck my thumb. I suck my hair.
I try to make pro-active decisions and I think that for the greater good, they're more satisfying, but as I said before, we rarely make decisions in that manner and most tend to be made after the horse has bolted, when it's either too late to have major impact or just plain and simply too late. I think transition can be affected by our decisions. Unlike a child, who has all major decisions made for them, such as starting at pre-school or having to spend every other day with grandma because mum's gone to work, us adults are in charge of our destiny, our decisions can be empowering and cathartic in equal measures. I made one decision today which provided me with such a release that it physically made me smile. I can't decide whether it was pro-acvtive or reactive (most probably reactive) and will not affect my daily life in any way, shape or form, but had been something I'd considered doing for a while. Decision made and acted upon, release. What I guess I'm trying to say is that even if you won't benefit on a personal, professional, financial or familial level, don't shy away from making decisions which perhaps you'd put off making or acting upon.
Tuesday, 16 March 2010
Howard Gardner - Multiple Intelligences - FAO Zoey
This is for Zoey, just some session notes from Fiona's lecture, but in a bid to extend the learning to others, I thought I'd put it on here....happy reading!
Howard Gardner is of the interactionist belief that development is a combination of nature AND nurture. His multiple intelligence theory is based on genetics. The intelligences are thus (using a child as the perspective):
Music - child learns through song
Bodily - child is a kinesthetic learner
Logical - child is a critical thinker, a problem solver
Linguistic - child has good native language skills
Spatial - child is aware of environment
Interpersonal - child is a good communicator
Intrapersonal- independent child, shy, strong opinions
Naturalist - describes in detail the outdoors
Gardner has more recently identified two new intelligences:
Digital
Sexual
A definition of Multiple Intelligences:
A psychological theory of the mind. Human beings learn in various levels of intelligence. Within the 8 different human intelligences, humans learn, remember, perform and understand in different ways. It is different to most forms of intelligence testing, which only rely on general intelligence (language/logic).
The National Curriculum is 70% geared toward only two of the intelligences - linguistic (literacy) and logic (numeracy).
ICT and the digital age
Gardner has suggested we need to consider the digital era and this is to be included as one of his intelligences. In his discussion of digital intelligence he looks at: How will it change the way we see education - the challenges in learning? He also says that in the area of digital intelligence, with too much information, we will lose knowledge.
Ethical considerations when incorporating ICT into the National Curriculum are:
- sense of identity
- respect for others
- sense of self
Robert Sternberg (1995)
Broadly, Sternberg identifies three categories of intelligence:
Analytical intelligence
Creative intelligence
Practical intelligence
Sternberg and Gardner say that practical intelligence is NOT being recognised in our current model of schooling and qualifications.
Brief, but hopefully to the point. Hope it helps, Zoey, and if you need any more information there's a chapter on multiple intelligences in Linda Pound's How Children Learn. If you need any other session notes on anything else, let me know and I shall see what I can do. This has been a good process for me too as it helps with revision!
Howard Gardner is of the interactionist belief that development is a combination of nature AND nurture. His multiple intelligence theory is based on genetics. The intelligences are thus (using a child as the perspective):
Music - child learns through song
Bodily - child is a kinesthetic learner
Logical - child is a critical thinker, a problem solver
Linguistic - child has good native language skills
Spatial - child is aware of environment
Interpersonal - child is a good communicator
Intrapersonal- independent child, shy, strong opinions
Naturalist - describes in detail the outdoors
Gardner has more recently identified two new intelligences:
Digital
Sexual
A definition of Multiple Intelligences:
A psychological theory of the mind. Human beings learn in various levels of intelligence. Within the 8 different human intelligences, humans learn, remember, perform and understand in different ways. It is different to most forms of intelligence testing, which only rely on general intelligence (language/logic).
The National Curriculum is 70% geared toward only two of the intelligences - linguistic (literacy) and logic (numeracy).
ICT and the digital age
Gardner has suggested we need to consider the digital era and this is to be included as one of his intelligences. In his discussion of digital intelligence he looks at: How will it change the way we see education - the challenges in learning? He also says that in the area of digital intelligence, with too much information, we will lose knowledge.
Ethical considerations when incorporating ICT into the National Curriculum are:
- sense of identity
- respect for others
- sense of self
Robert Sternberg (1995)
Broadly, Sternberg identifies three categories of intelligence:
Analytical intelligence
Creative intelligence
Practical intelligence
Sternberg and Gardner say that practical intelligence is NOT being recognised in our current model of schooling and qualifications.
Brief, but hopefully to the point. Hope it helps, Zoey, and if you need any more information there's a chapter on multiple intelligences in Linda Pound's How Children Learn. If you need any other session notes on anything else, let me know and I shall see what I can do. This has been a good process for me too as it helps with revision!
Thursday, 4 February 2010
Introspective reflection
Over the past couple of lectures its fair to say that we in our group have had our general attitudes towards life and social structure challenged. Its taken a couple of sessions with a foundation degree course to realise that we are perhaps not as 'street' as maybe we think we are.
Its easy to think that you are an individual who would treat others in the correct manner of equality, yet when its pointed out to you in not so many words that you're not, its defeinitely a lesson well learned. Social mobility is a matter which concerns all of us and its true, the harder one works, the more upwardly mobile one becomes. Is this fair? I would say that yes, put the hard work in and reap the benefits as and when they come to you. However, if one is never presented with the opportunity to work hard or prove their academic worth and therefore denied any sense of self-fulfillment or accomplishment, upward social mobility is extremely difficult.
This was brought home to me yesterday after working with the mentioned group. There are people, indeed peoples, who have nothing when they're born, live life with nothing and die owning nothing, yet they live in a society where all around them there are individuals with extreme levels of wealth. Are we correct in allowing those born with nothing never to experience a sense of self-progression? Oppressed groups, such as ethnic minorities, women etc have always, will possibly always, experienced such oppression - who's responsibility is it to make sure they're treated more fairly?
As a member of the female race myself, I can say I have never experienced to my knowledge any oppressive attitude towards me based on my gender. However, and its a big however, I have always chosen lines of work more associated with being female. The list of jobs is too long to mention here, but children have always been a major interest of mine and most jobs have revolved around them. Maybe I have adhered to my gender conformant identity and stuck to what I know is safe and somewhere I know I can progress? Some oppressed groups never ever have the oppotunity to find out what it is they're good at/interested in/have a talent for, as they're never allowed that opportunity.
It's all good stuff to find out about yourself and the plight of others. Reflective practice or simply being humanistic? I'm not sure.
Its easy to think that you are an individual who would treat others in the correct manner of equality, yet when its pointed out to you in not so many words that you're not, its defeinitely a lesson well learned. Social mobility is a matter which concerns all of us and its true, the harder one works, the more upwardly mobile one becomes. Is this fair? I would say that yes, put the hard work in and reap the benefits as and when they come to you. However, if one is never presented with the opportunity to work hard or prove their academic worth and therefore denied any sense of self-fulfillment or accomplishment, upward social mobility is extremely difficult.
This was brought home to me yesterday after working with the mentioned group. There are people, indeed peoples, who have nothing when they're born, live life with nothing and die owning nothing, yet they live in a society where all around them there are individuals with extreme levels of wealth. Are we correct in allowing those born with nothing never to experience a sense of self-progression? Oppressed groups, such as ethnic minorities, women etc have always, will possibly always, experienced such oppression - who's responsibility is it to make sure they're treated more fairly?
As a member of the female race myself, I can say I have never experienced to my knowledge any oppressive attitude towards me based on my gender. However, and its a big however, I have always chosen lines of work more associated with being female. The list of jobs is too long to mention here, but children have always been a major interest of mine and most jobs have revolved around them. Maybe I have adhered to my gender conformant identity and stuck to what I know is safe and somewhere I know I can progress? Some oppressed groups never ever have the oppotunity to find out what it is they're good at/interested in/have a talent for, as they're never allowed that opportunity.
It's all good stuff to find out about yourself and the plight of others. Reflective practice or simply being humanistic? I'm not sure.
Friday, 13 November 2009
Working to fast-approaching deadlines
With the end of my lit review in sight, it is with relish that I approach the composition of my advanced Powerpoint presentation for Brian's module. As the new owner of Office 2007, I have to say that I am a true convert to the ways of the 2007, even if I am 2 years behind everyone else. So a huge thankyou to Tony for his assistance in supplying the 2007 and the codes!
My lit review is sort of in the bag so I have been researching contextual data to go in my presentation. Do I go completely academic and use only political and educational research or do I give it a relaxed feel? I'm not sure what to do. The presentation brief states that the presentation is to include technology and the use of You Tube, music, film and/or photos. All in fifteen minutes. Is it possible? It's gonna take some major production expertise and more importantly, clock watching on the day. I'm far too tempted to waffle on during presentations as quite often you find yourself wanting to verbally embellish but in most cases this simply makes your presentation lose its edge. Lots of practice needed I think!
With the lit review in mind, I have in the last day or two been implementing the changes which Lin has made to it since emailing it to her while she was in hospital. If anyone in the first year is apprehensive to do this, I would thoroughly recommend doing it. Lin will read your prepared work, whatever state it's in. She'll add her own notes, knowledge and references for you to work through. It's a little soul destroying at first to see all your hard work ripped apart but Lin does it in such a way that you don't feel demoralised for too long! And, when you get a first grade for your piece of work, it all seems worth the hard work! Don't underestimate the assistance and knowledge of our tutors - after all, that's what they're there for and I have always found them more than accommodating.
As for the observations for Fee's longitudinal study, they're just sort of looking after themselves for now. The obs are happening but not much writing up is going on! However, I really enjoy her sessions and I think I've learned more about theorists during these last few weeks than I did all last year. That's no criticism of the teaching styles of our tutors last year, more that I am now having to put theory into practice and understand each theory and who developed it. I have never given Piaget much more thought than any of the other theorists, but its glaringly apparent that he is one of the seminal pioneer theorists on child cognitive development. His research is still being used as a basis to assess children in schools now, even after his work has been ripped apart ethically and methodically. Our obs are to take on a structured format and because of that we need to have a good underpinning knowledge of all of the different learning, development, cognitive and maturation theories. For this reason only, I would recommend to the first years the Linda Pound book How Children Learn. A comprehensive guide to all the relevant theorists, put in layman's terms. If I can read and understand the book first time, believe me, so can you!!
My lit review is sort of in the bag so I have been researching contextual data to go in my presentation. Do I go completely academic and use only political and educational research or do I give it a relaxed feel? I'm not sure what to do. The presentation brief states that the presentation is to include technology and the use of You Tube, music, film and/or photos. All in fifteen minutes. Is it possible? It's gonna take some major production expertise and more importantly, clock watching on the day. I'm far too tempted to waffle on during presentations as quite often you find yourself wanting to verbally embellish but in most cases this simply makes your presentation lose its edge. Lots of practice needed I think!
With the lit review in mind, I have in the last day or two been implementing the changes which Lin has made to it since emailing it to her while she was in hospital. If anyone in the first year is apprehensive to do this, I would thoroughly recommend doing it. Lin will read your prepared work, whatever state it's in. She'll add her own notes, knowledge and references for you to work through. It's a little soul destroying at first to see all your hard work ripped apart but Lin does it in such a way that you don't feel demoralised for too long! And, when you get a first grade for your piece of work, it all seems worth the hard work! Don't underestimate the assistance and knowledge of our tutors - after all, that's what they're there for and I have always found them more than accommodating.
As for the observations for Fee's longitudinal study, they're just sort of looking after themselves for now. The obs are happening but not much writing up is going on! However, I really enjoy her sessions and I think I've learned more about theorists during these last few weeks than I did all last year. That's no criticism of the teaching styles of our tutors last year, more that I am now having to put theory into practice and understand each theory and who developed it. I have never given Piaget much more thought than any of the other theorists, but its glaringly apparent that he is one of the seminal pioneer theorists on child cognitive development. His research is still being used as a basis to assess children in schools now, even after his work has been ripped apart ethically and methodically. Our obs are to take on a structured format and because of that we need to have a good underpinning knowledge of all of the different learning, development, cognitive and maturation theories. For this reason only, I would recommend to the first years the Linda Pound book How Children Learn. A comprehensive guide to all the relevant theorists, put in layman's terms. If I can read and understand the book first time, believe me, so can you!!
Wednesday, 21 October 2009
Jenny's Story
Watch this it's moving in a strange way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48gwikhKrKU
It's a story which was referred to in one of my abstracts for the lit review and reading the comments under the video on You Tube, the younger generations are agreeing with Jenny, I guess they didn't get to the end of the video then...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48gwikhKrKU
It's a story which was referred to in one of my abstracts for the lit review and reading the comments under the video on You Tube, the younger generations are agreeing with Jenny, I guess they didn't get to the end of the video then...
Thursday, 15 October 2009
Gender revisited
I really enjoyed Fiona's lesson today. I like her style of teaching and appreciate that she feels the same way about us that our other lecturers do. By this I mean she has a correct level of empathy with us as adult learners and understands the work life balance so important to us all.
I enjoyed her section on gender with the view to applying it to our longitudinal study. We have covered gender previously in year one, but today it all seemed to click for me. A penny dropping scenario you could say.
My own first-hand experience and knowledge of gender is not so enhanced. I can honestly say that prior to starting this course, I had never given the subject much thought. I have two children, one girl, one boy, and I can (or rather should) say that their gender, other than basic physical differences, has never given me food for thought. Til now. I have in my time (Christmas, birthdays) played along with the girl toys/boy toys as this is what they as individuals have requested. Yes, they watch TV. Yes, they are consumer animals, at the mercy of advertising executives who target them while they are eating their 12 weetabix (!) at breakfast time with the TV on.
I am a believer that humans are born with a biological make-up which leads them into affirming to whichever gender role they are born with. I also believe that social structuring has much to answer for in to regard gender roles per se. I can see and believe in both sides of this particular nature/nurture debate - it ain't arf comfy on this fence!
What I can't get to grips with is the army of people who get angry with girls selecting pink, liking pink, wanting to play with dolls. Equally I can't understand parents of children (boys) who get annoyed with little Johnny because he wants to play with a doll. In the context of my own children, if my daughter wanted to play with Thomas the Tank Engine (as she often did) I didn't steer her towards the toy pushchair instead. Equally, If my son was discovered playing with his elder sister's dolls, I would never have contemplated steering him to his toy cars. Both my children enjoyed playing with toy cars (and still do), they enjoy playing mums and dads (not every time are the roles dished out among them as you'd expect - my son is often 'big sister' or 'mum' and my daughter 'baby brother' or 'uncle Paul') therefore, after a bit of retrospect, I have indeed allowed them to explore their individual selves.
Something which my son struggles with, interestingly, is tranvestites. I guess you can say we as a family lead pretty sheltered lives in that none of our friends or work colleagues are, on the surface, anything other than similar to ourselves (mum, dad, 2,3,4, children etc). A couple of them are divorced, a couple have never got married (shock, horror!!), but in the main, the people we socialise with as a family are all heterosexual and have children. Not even so much as a sniff of anyone testing the waters of the same sex. So, the scene is set.
While watching the TV programme 'Transvestite Wives', my son asks me 'Is that a man or a lady?' My repsonse leads me into a conversation which takes me in all sorts of directions, the conclusions of which were unsatisfactory to him as a seven year old. 'It's a man' I say, looking at the hefty masculine figure clad in an unflattering wig, mini skirt, makeup, and the most hideous pair of boots ever made. I don't think his (absolutely lovely) wife had given him much fashion advice, let's put it that way.
Gay, my son understands. A man loves a man. A woman loves a woman. They live together, they love each other. Sometimes they have children, sometimes they don't. Sometimes they get married, sometimes they don't. They are simply leading a different life to the one his parents have chosen to lead. Simple.
What is hard for my son to understand is the desire/feeling/need which drives a man to want to wear a woman's clothes, or a woman a man's. This is what I find difficult to explain to him, therefore he remains in a state of confusion over the recently oft thought of scenario. If anyone has any tips for me in trying to explain this to him, I'd greatly appreciate them! Is it a need? Is it a sexual kick? Is it a desire? Is it something in their biological make-up? The reason that Dave wants to be Dierdre at times and still keep his wife and go out as friends occasionally rather than as spouses is a difficult one for a child to understand. My daughter seemed, at the time, to accept it. But, after discussion with my husband, he flagged up that she wasn't really that interested in the programme at the time and wasn't really watching it. I shall broach the subject with her another time to get an eleven yera old's perspective on the matter.
I could apply theory here. Emotional Intelligence, Howard Gardner, Daniel Goleman. My son has to develop a more enhanced emotional intelligence for him to understand the empathy required to accept men needing to dress as women or women as men. He needs to develop the necessary emotional literacy to be able to understand what others are feeling. At seven it's not there. When does he get it? At what age will he as a male develop the understanding of others? Some would argue never. I on the other hand await this day with much excitement.
I enjoyed her section on gender with the view to applying it to our longitudinal study. We have covered gender previously in year one, but today it all seemed to click for me. A penny dropping scenario you could say.
My own first-hand experience and knowledge of gender is not so enhanced. I can honestly say that prior to starting this course, I had never given the subject much thought. I have two children, one girl, one boy, and I can (or rather should) say that their gender, other than basic physical differences, has never given me food for thought. Til now. I have in my time (Christmas, birthdays) played along with the girl toys/boy toys as this is what they as individuals have requested. Yes, they watch TV. Yes, they are consumer animals, at the mercy of advertising executives who target them while they are eating their 12 weetabix (!) at breakfast time with the TV on.
I am a believer that humans are born with a biological make-up which leads them into affirming to whichever gender role they are born with. I also believe that social structuring has much to answer for in to regard gender roles per se. I can see and believe in both sides of this particular nature/nurture debate - it ain't arf comfy on this fence!
What I can't get to grips with is the army of people who get angry with girls selecting pink, liking pink, wanting to play with dolls. Equally I can't understand parents of children (boys) who get annoyed with little Johnny because he wants to play with a doll. In the context of my own children, if my daughter wanted to play with Thomas the Tank Engine (as she often did) I didn't steer her towards the toy pushchair instead. Equally, If my son was discovered playing with his elder sister's dolls, I would never have contemplated steering him to his toy cars. Both my children enjoyed playing with toy cars (and still do), they enjoy playing mums and dads (not every time are the roles dished out among them as you'd expect - my son is often 'big sister' or 'mum' and my daughter 'baby brother' or 'uncle Paul') therefore, after a bit of retrospect, I have indeed allowed them to explore their individual selves.
Something which my son struggles with, interestingly, is tranvestites. I guess you can say we as a family lead pretty sheltered lives in that none of our friends or work colleagues are, on the surface, anything other than similar to ourselves (mum, dad, 2,3,4, children etc). A couple of them are divorced, a couple have never got married (shock, horror!!), but in the main, the people we socialise with as a family are all heterosexual and have children. Not even so much as a sniff of anyone testing the waters of the same sex. So, the scene is set.
While watching the TV programme 'Transvestite Wives', my son asks me 'Is that a man or a lady?' My repsonse leads me into a conversation which takes me in all sorts of directions, the conclusions of which were unsatisfactory to him as a seven year old. 'It's a man' I say, looking at the hefty masculine figure clad in an unflattering wig, mini skirt, makeup, and the most hideous pair of boots ever made. I don't think his (absolutely lovely) wife had given him much fashion advice, let's put it that way.
Gay, my son understands. A man loves a man. A woman loves a woman. They live together, they love each other. Sometimes they have children, sometimes they don't. Sometimes they get married, sometimes they don't. They are simply leading a different life to the one his parents have chosen to lead. Simple.
What is hard for my son to understand is the desire/feeling/need which drives a man to want to wear a woman's clothes, or a woman a man's. This is what I find difficult to explain to him, therefore he remains in a state of confusion over the recently oft thought of scenario. If anyone has any tips for me in trying to explain this to him, I'd greatly appreciate them! Is it a need? Is it a sexual kick? Is it a desire? Is it something in their biological make-up? The reason that Dave wants to be Dierdre at times and still keep his wife and go out as friends occasionally rather than as spouses is a difficult one for a child to understand. My daughter seemed, at the time, to accept it. But, after discussion with my husband, he flagged up that she wasn't really that interested in the programme at the time and wasn't really watching it. I shall broach the subject with her another time to get an eleven yera old's perspective on the matter.
I could apply theory here. Emotional Intelligence, Howard Gardner, Daniel Goleman. My son has to develop a more enhanced emotional intelligence for him to understand the empathy required to accept men needing to dress as women or women as men. He needs to develop the necessary emotional literacy to be able to understand what others are feeling. At seven it's not there. When does he get it? At what age will he as a male develop the understanding of others? Some would argue never. I on the other hand await this day with much excitement.
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